orange_sadona

     I just got the call last night everything is set for Monday.  They will be doing the third TEE test and if at last the clot has adsorbed they will finally do the ablation for my a fib.   I am really getting scared. The nurse said yesterday if the clot has not cleared the doctor is going to put in a pace maker.  I do not want that, and everything I have found about pace makers and afib say a pace maker is to make your heart beat faster if your rate is too slow.  That is not my problem. I also have atrial flutter and my heart beats too fast most times.  To put a pace make in they would have to destroy the connection between my natural biological pacemaker and then insert a mechanical one.  That would mean I would be dependent on the mechanical pacemaker to keep my heart beating, so basically if it malfunctions I am dead.   I would rather take my chances with the pacemaker that was built into my system when I was created then count on a mechanical device.   I really do not like things that my body did not come with put into it.
     The nurse at my doctors office is very frustrating.  In one sentence she says if the clot did not clear he is going to put in a pacemaker and in the next sentence she says he told her he would be really surprised if it did not reabsorb.  My emotions are every where. Every time I go and the clot is still there it makes it harder to be optimistic that it will ever clear, and I will ever have a normal life again.      
     I really hope this works this time.  I would really love to be in better shape by Christmas.